My Life through Movie Characters

Have you ever been watching a movie and thought, "I wish I was like her.." or "That sounds just like me..." I do that all the time. Well, okay, so maybe I say the former more than the latter, but still. I have decided to chronicle several points in my life and tell you which movie character I wanted to be like, and which character I was really like. Let's start with elementary school since there really aren't many breakout baby stars. Besides, as a baby, I probably seemed much more like "Rosemary's Baby" than anything else.

Elementary School

I wanted to be like....


Matilda from both the movie "Matilda" and the book by Roald Dohl. Matilda was so super smart and could move things with her mind. Maybe not the coolest kid on the block, but I wouldn't mind understanding quantum physics by kindergarten.

Who I actually was...
Yep, Olive from "Little Miss Sunshine". A very lovable character, but a definite nerd. I didn't dance to Super Freak but I did sing loudly and in public at times. Plus, I had similar glasses, except mine were pink and purple, not just pink.

Middle School

Wanted to be like...


Jenna from "13 Going on 30". Not the middle school version, but the Jennifer Garner version. I wanted to just skip middle school entirely and be an adult already. Plus, do you know how hard it is to find a cool middle school character in a movie? If you think of any, please enlighten me because I totally drew a blank here.

Was actually like...Yep, Dawn from "Welcome to the Dollhouse". If you haven't seen it, just let me tell you that it epitomizes just how dorky middle school kids are. I personally think that middle school is one of the most awkward periods in a kid's life. You are maturing, but still goofy looking because you aren't maturing everywhere, you are smelly and usually annoying to everyone you meet. I know I was, but eventually you become awesome... like me!

High School

Wanted to be like...
Cher from "Clueless". Seriously, who wouldn't want to be Cher in high school. She was super popular, got to shop anywhere she wanted, had the best closet ever, was beautiful and got to be with Paul Rudd. Do I need to expound further?

I was actually like...
Okay, I might not have been as sullen. I wasn't very popular at all in high school though. I hung out with the scary, long-haired, bass playing, philosophy reading nerds. I was a bit more popular in youth group, but I felt like I was always trying to catch up with the cool people. Plus, I did get a cute popular boy in the end...

College

Wanted to be like...Elle Woods from "Legally Blonde". I loved this movie because Elle was so spunky and fun. She was also really smart as it turned out, and wasn't afraid to work really hard for what she wanted. Even though being in Delta Nu probably would have made me throw up...there was so much estrogen, it was probably a lot of fun too.

I was really like...

Laurie from "Gross Anatomy". Nursing school was really hard for me so I definitely studied too much. I did have fun while in college, just like Laurie, but I did tend to go a little overboard with my fun at times. Not that nursing school is as hard as medical school, but there aren't any movies about girls struggling through nursing school. Although there totally should be...

And that is where I will stop. I am not sure that I have really been a full fledged adult long enough to dissect my personality. I will say that I kind of hope to be like Miss Marple as an old lady. Yes, even living in a little village in England and solving murders. Although I don't think I would ever develop her love of gardening. I know I'm a dork, but its just who I am.

If My Life Was a Romance Novel/Romantic Movie...

As I was listening to my book on CD the other day, I was pondering how my life does not mimic a romance novel in any way. Initially, I was disappointed because I think we all want to feel like we have stepped out the pages of a Julie Garwood, Amanda Quick, Sandra Brown or Linda Howard novel. Or, if you are not a romance fan, off the screen of "Pretty in Pink", "Love Actually", or "The Notebook" (I am not a personal fan of that one, but to each her own). I notice that when I read too many romance novels in a row, or watch too many girlie movies, I start feeling disappointed that my life is so "boring" and "unromantic". This time, however, I decided to think of all the ways my life would change if I were the starring character in a romantic story, rather than my normal life.

First, if I were a romantic heroine, I would probably not be able to have my current job. Not that being a nurse is not romantic... it is... ever heard of the Florence Nightingale effect? But it wouldn't be very romantic for the heroine to sit in a hallway, talking on the phone and typing on her computer all day. Especially, if she only talked to women about "female" issues. I would have to be an army nurse, nursing some poor soldier back to health, or an ER nurse, who meets a police officer who is investigating a gunshot victim. Did I mention that I mostly read romantic suspense so most of my heroine ideas have murder and mayhem involved?

Second, I would not be able to be aware of my own beauty. Romantic heroines never think that they are beautiful or usually even pretty. They always have some feature that they think is horrible, but one special man thinks is fabulous. It might sound conceited, but I have never felt ugly. Overweight, yes, but I have always secretly thought of myself as a pretty, curvy woman. I would never be like Amelia Peabody from the Miss Peabody novels who worries about my "mishapped figure with a overly ample bosom and small waist". Even with my occasional self esteem issues, I have way too much confidence in my looks to be a successful heroine.

Third, even though my relationship with Taylor was precarious in high school, it has really not been since then and I don't think that I would question his love enough. Women in romance novels and romantic movies are never really sure of their significant other's love. They are constantly questioning the man's love in their mind and never just asking him. I have had my moments where I don't feel like I am the shimmering light in Taylor's world, but I have never really worried that he didn't love me. Then again, he is a man who speaks his mind, and I'm sure that if he stopped loving me or never had, he would tell me in no uncertain terms.

Finally, I don't usually have any major disasters arising in my life. Not to say that I never will, but I have not had a lot of occasions for Taylor to prove his love. I have never been kidnapped by a rival admirer, been struck down with a debilitating disease or been forced to chase Taylor down before he left on a train or plane for some foreign country. Knock on wood about all those things. Although, I don't really see the kidnapping problem ever arising.

So, if you are ever reading too much Danielle Steel and get grumpy with your significant other for not carrying you off into the sunset, just consider what your life would really be like with a little too much romance.

(By the way, I just thought the picture above illustrated my point, I don't really read those kinds of romance novels. Just for those of you who might secretly be judging me for reading Harlequin romances.)

WARNING: This post is for mature eyes only...

I got this off an email from one of the girls at work. I thought it was hilarious. It is not for the faint of heart though.

PROOF THAT THE WORLD IS NUTS!

In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. I guess you want to ensure your heterosexuality even with animals?

In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in the mirror. I think of it like Medusa, and you can only see the reflection or you turn to stone.

Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times. Have these people never heard of sheets?

The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. Much worse than "going blind".

There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time. Reason: Under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry. I think if this job gets out to the general population of men in America, there could be a serious influx of US immigrants in Guam.

In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired. Can someone remind me to move Taylor to Hong Kong if I ever suspect him cheating?

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England- but only in tropical fish stores. Because anywhere else would just be silly.

In Cali, Columbia, a woman may only have sex with her husband and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act. Gross, gross, gross.

In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. Sad to think that this was such a big issue that it required a law.

In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises. I am glad that Maryland is encouraging the drunken one night stand.

So there you go, hope that it was not too much for anyone. And I am sorry if anyone took offense but in my defense I am a OB/Gyn nurse and I talk to people about sex all the time.

Movie Recommendation

Okay, I just have a quick movie recommendation for all you chicks out there. My sister, Ryan and I saw "He's Just Not That Into You" (which I will now refer to as HJNTIY since the title is so flipping long) this last weekend and I loved it! I do like a good chick flick sometimes and I have found that since getting married and having sisters I like them more. My mom and I were also great watchers of chick flicks.

I really liked the cast the most in this movie. I loved Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Connally, Ginnifer Goodwin and Scarlet Johansson (Man, there were a lot of Jennifers on this set. I wonder if they went by Jenny A, Jenny C and Ginny G?). Also, need to send a shout out to Justin Long. He is so cute and funny and I always love his movies, even if they are terrible. This is definitely not a movie for guys, unless they are really secure in their masculinity. It will make you laugh and make you cry, which is always good.

For those of you who don't know, HJNTIY is a movie based on the popular Oprah book. It follows the love lives of 4-5 main girls and the mistakes that we all make in relationships. Don't worry though, it will not make you feel like every decision you have ever made about men is wrong. At least not in the end. I was a little concerned about this because my relationship is a little abnormal and I thought this movie might make me feel like I had not followed the rules. But, no, it is a movie that is truly on the side of love, in all its shapes and forms. I would recommend you see it, it is lovely! I am not saying that you should throw away your copies of "Steel Magnolias" and "Love Actually", but I would put in on the same par as "The Holiday", "Under the Tuscan Sun" and "Mona Lisa's Smile". Hope that you will go and see it. It is a nice, feel-good movie, which seems to be rare these days.

With a Litte Inspiration from a Friend...

Okay, so Holly did this Q&A thing on her blog with questions about how you and your spouse/boyfriend/significant other relate. So, since my life has been a little dismal lately and I don't really feel like rehashing everything on my blog, I will do this too. Hope you enjoy!

♥What are your middle names?
Elaine and Wade

♥ How long have you been together?
Married for 2+ years and together for 7 years officially and 9 years unofficially. What this means is Taylor told me all through high school that he "didn't want a girlfriend". He still stands by this, he says he still doesn't want a girlfriend, but he is okay with having a wife.

♥ How long did you know each other before you started dating?
We met the summer before I turned 16 in the teacher work room at Westover Hills C of C. We were preparing to go on a mission trip to Minnesota. Funny though, we both went to Westover all our lives almost, and on the VIP quilt our hand prints are right next to each other. I think it was fate...

♥ Who asked who out?
Well, I probably asked him out in high school, in fact, I am sure I did. But when we started dating again in college, he definitely pursued me. My sophomore year of college, I used to go to the drive in with Taylor and his roommate and Taylor would try and kiss me when his roommate would go get snacks or go to the bathroom.

♥ How old were each of you?
Sam 17, Taylor 15- then Sam 20, Taylor 18

♥ Whose siblings do/ did you see the most?
Taylor's, I don't have any.

♥ Do you have any children together?
Nope, just pets

♥ What about pets?
Our babies are Moe, my 6 year old tabby, Barley, our 2 year old Australian shepherd/Boxer/Foxhound/Pit bull mutt and Hopps, our 1 1/2 year old lab/pit bull mutt.

♥ Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Probably money issues at the moment. But we are working on it. Other than that we are pretty united.

♥ Did you go to the same school?
Yes, Anderson High School, although I didn't get there until Junior Year.

♥ Are you from the same home town?
Yep

♥ Who is smarter?
It depends on the issue. Medical, me by a landslide; Random facts and all construction related topics, Taylor by far. Well, except movies, I kill most people when it comes to movie knowledge.

♥ Who is more sensitive?
Me. Have you met my husband? Although he is really sweet and sensitive to me sometimes...shh, don't tell.

♥ Where do you eat out most as a couple?
Sushi, I am obsessed!


♥ Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
St. Paul, Minnesota where we lived for the first 5 months of our marriage. Next furthest would probably be New Orleans, LA.


♥ Who has the craziest exes?
I guess me? I went on a date once with a guy I met at Kadesh who had really sweaty palms and was 30 minutes late for our date. Other than that, neither of us has really dated other people.

♥ Who has the worse temper?
Me, me, me. I have a very short fuse, but I forgive and forget quickly. Taylor says that I might be borderline neurotic...well, maybe not borderline.

♥ Who does the cooking?
Both, though Taylor is by far the better of two of us. I make most of the weekday meals right now since he has been working later hours but we usually split it pretty equal. If we entertain, I am usually in charge of only bread and dessert.

♥ Who is more social?
I am not sure. I am much more friendly, but I think that Taylor has a lot more friends. People are just kind of drawn to him and really make the effort to be his friend. He's so cool!

♥ Who is the neat-freak?
Sadly, probably neither of us. I care more about the house being clean, but that is still not saying much. I am good about keeping the kitchen clean, maybe not always dish free but the counters and stuff are always wiped down. I am also OCD about my bathroom products being in a specific order, with all the labels out.

♥ Who is the more stubborn?
Taylor for sure. Have you ever tried to argue with a Reid? You might as well go beat your head on a tree. It would be less painful in the end.

♥ Who hogs the bed?
Well, we are transitioning into sharing a bed. We had a queen before and it was way too small. Now we have a California King which means that Taylor doesn't hog the bed, but he still snores. I am working on my tolerance for snoring. It is about 3 hours right now.

♥ Who wakes up earlier?
Me. At 6 am on weekdays and usually by 8 am on weekends.

♥ Where was your first date?
At the Round Rock 8 movie theater in Round Rock. We saw The Waterboy and Taylor told me afterward that it was not a date. Ah, memories..

♥ Who has the bigger family?
Probably, definitely Taylor. I am an only child and he has three siblings, one who is married. Outside of immediate family, mine is probably closer though. The Reids hardly see their extended family because they don't really live close.

♥ Do you get flowers often?
Sometimes, maybe like twice in our marriage. I actually prefer a balloon on V-day because Taylor got me one when we lived in Minnesota that lasted for 4 months. It was the most awesome balloon ever, we had to pop it when we moved so now he gets me a balloon every Valentines.

♥ How do you spend the holidays?
Splitting between our two families. They both live in Austin and luckily, at least for Christmas, it is a pretty easy split. We have cooked Thanksgiving for Taylor's family the last two years. Sorry, my family...

♥ Who is more jealous?
I guess me. I really didn't like girls who had crushes on Taylor in high school. Of course, Taylor has always been a little intimidating so I don't really think he ever had the chance to be jealous.

♥ How long did it take to get serious?
In high school, we didn't really know if we were truly dating, much less serious. By college though, once we decided to date after I left ACU, we pretty much knew we were getting married and in love and all that jazz.

♥ Who eats more?
Taylor definitely. I can eat a good bit for a girl, but I am nothing compared to Taylor. I think that works out best anyway. I have never really wanted to be able to eat my man under the table. I can already do that with some of his friends sadly.

♥ Who does/ did the laundry?
I do the laundry. Taylor washes his work clothes at some point in the week because he does not have enough pants. I do all the laundry on Sundays. I don't fold a lot though. I am really bad about that. When you wear scrubs and your husband wears workout clothes to work, there doesn't seem much point.

♥ Who’s better with the computer?
Me, by far. Although if we have any major computer issues we take it to my dad. I am the better typist and more Internet savvy. Then again I work on a computer all day so I might have an unfair advantage.

♥Who drives when you are together?
Taylor does. He thinks I am a bad driver and I already drive so far to work everyday that I don't mind if he drives. It doesn't stop me from being a control freak in the car and I am constantly apologizing for pointing out brake lights, red lights and basically any situation that could possibly turn into an accident. I am a psycho in the car, I know it and I apologize to anyone who has ever had to drive me around.

Hope you enjoyed this post and that you know more about Taylor and I now as a couple. Hope that everyone had a wonderful Valentine's day!

I Once Threw Up on Mickey...

Imagine that you are 8 years old. You have just spent 3-4 days in a car, driving from Austin, TX to Orlando, FL. You have watched the Disney channel all your life, being a faithfully devoted fan of the Mickey Mouse Club (MMC) and all the Mickey cartoons. You have been so excited for months, since your mom and dad told you that they were taking you to Disney World. Nothing could be greater! So, after journeying for what feels like millions of miles, you finally get there. You check into your hotel and then head straight to Chez Mickey for dinner. You think, " I will get to see Mickey, finally!" However, you are not prepared to not only see Mickey when you first walk in the door but that he will hold your hand and walk you to your table. Also, you are not prepared for Mickey to be 7 feet tall and enormous. So, as soon as you are seating and Mickey walks away, you tell your mom that you are about to be sick. You then proceed to spend the rest of the meal in the bathroom with your mom holding your hair back (something she would do only for you, since she hates even the thought of vomit). So there you are, are you imagining it? Yep, that was me. It was my first trip to Disney World. I didn't actually throw up and the staff at Chez Mickey were so concerned. They made our meals into beautiful foil Mickey ears and a swan.

Going to Disney World has always been one of my favorite places to go. I mean, it's the happiest place on earth! My parents always really loved it too. My mom and I would always get up early and be at the parks when they first open and then stay until right after lunch. This allowed us to get on most rides right away and then be out of the park for the afternoon when it gets really hot. Then we would go back to the room for naps or swimming and return in the evening for dinner and to enjoy time in the park with my dad. My mom and I would always plan for months, reading books about Disney World to see what had changed since we were last there. We would plan what parks we would go to on what days so that we could get maximum time in all the parks. If you have ever felt you wasted your money at Disney World, just come on a trip with my mom and I, we waste no time, but we are also not dead by the end of the trip.

Anyway, I just talked to a patient who was heading to Disney World the other day and began thinking of my childhood trips to Disney World. We have been having a lot of stress over the last few months and it sure would be nice to get away to the happiest place on earth for a while. (By the way, MOM, this is not a plea for a trip, just a happy memory to share).

My Serial Killer, Monster and General Maniac Survival Guide

For those of you who don't know, I LOVE horror movies. I have kind of been obsessed with them since I was a kid and used to scare myself by walking around the horror aisle at Blockbuster. When I was in elementary school, I had this secret fear that the creatures on the video covers could come out and get you if you turned your back on them. So I would creep down the aisle trying not to turn my back on the videos. I was a weird kid, okay? I was an only child and you have to make up a lot of things to do. I also watched a lot of movies... I always have.

Anyway, I watch all kinds of horror movies. I especially love the really cheesy, gory ones. This weekend, while Taylor was working, I watched a lot of horror movies including Hostel and Hostel, part 2. I am kind of strangely fascinated with the Hostel movies. I don't really find them scary, just more amusing and creepy. For those who don't know the plot points, Hostel is about tourists who go to a certain hostel in Slovakia and then are kidnapped and sold at auction so that rich people can murder them. Both the Hostel movies focus on Americans, who go for the highest price. They are amusing movies to me because the kids are so dumb and stay in this creepy town where the children rob you and everyone is just a little too friendly. Oh, and all your friends keep disappearing without a trace. I would be out, see ya, adios... but that's just me. The creepy part comes from knowing that something like that could go on. I could easily see the bored, rich people with nothing better to do seeking out this kind of entertainment. Not that rich people cannot be perfectly nice and not murderers.

Anyway, I am getting off subject... In watching the Hostel movies, it caused me to add to my list of ways to avoid getting killed by murderers, serial killers, vampires, werewolves, zombies and general psychos. This is just the little list that I keep in my head so that I am never one of those girls who is breaking her ankle while running away from the monster. So, here you go, I am sure that you will all want to keep this list somewhere handy.

1. Never go vacationing anywhere that has no phones available. I wouldn't camp or hike anywhere where I cannot get cell service. There might be inbreds about. (Lesson from Wrong Turn and Deliverance)

2. If being attacked by zombies, always destroy the head. You can shoot them for five minutes straight through the heart and it won't do a lick of good. If all else fails, decapitate! (Lesson from Dawn of the Dead, Shaun of the Dead, Resident Evil, and basically any zombie movie ever!)

3. If the town, hotel, gas station, etc...looks like it is out of a Hitchcock film, don't stop there and certainly don't be rude to the people there. (Lesson from Texas Chainsaw Massacre, House of 1000 Corpses, and Psycho)

4. When in Europe, do not stay in hostels in Eastern Europe. And if you do and your friends start to disappear, LEAVE ASAP! (Lesson from Hostel, Hostel, part 2)

5. Don't babysit. Well, at least not if you are a cute teenage girl and there is a serial killer on the loose. (Halloween and When a Stranger Calls)

6. If you meet people who have pointy teeth, suck blood, have no reflection and avoid sunlight...they are vampires. Get the holy water, crosses, garlic and wooden stakes. (Dracula, From Dusk til Dawn, Blade, 30 Days of Night, Underworld, any vampire movie...Hello!)

7. Never play a game that requires you to repeat a name into a mirror in the dark so someone can come kill you. So, no Candyman or Bloody Mary. Your friends might think you are a wimp, but at least you won't get slaughtered. (Candyman and Dead Mary)

8. Don't be mean to people who might be potentially serial killers or have telekinesis. In fact, be extra nice to them and if it seems like they are going postal, be somewhere else. (Carrie, Valentine, Willard, Firestarter, Tamara)

9. If your house seems haunted and people start dying... please move. Especially if people get sucked into TVs or become ghosts. That's just common sense. Oh, and don't go to haunted houses to see if they are haunted... they are. (Poltergeist, House on Haunted Hill, Rose Red, The Grudge, Amityville Horror, 1408, The Haunting...)

10. If you are a woman, don't wait for a man to save you when faced with a killer or monster. Grab that machete or gun or butcher knife and take care of it yourself. Besides, your boyfriend/husband/guy friend is probably dead anyway. Duh! And don't wear high heels and then look back as you run away, you're gonna fall, loser! (Be like the main girls in Planet Terror, Death Proof, Resident Evil, Scream and Hostel, part 2)

Hope you have enjoyed my survival guide. There are more things on my list, but these hit the main points. Basically, it's all about using common sense and if something feels stupid, maybe that's not the best choice. Good luck and don't come looking for me when the zombies take over, I will be busy!



By the way, this is Alice. She was in Resident Evil and she is my model of the way to be in a crisis. Plus, she looks cute while she is kicking butt!