My Serial Killer, Monster and General Maniac Survival Guide

For those of you who don't know, I LOVE horror movies. I have kind of been obsessed with them since I was a kid and used to scare myself by walking around the horror aisle at Blockbuster. When I was in elementary school, I had this secret fear that the creatures on the video covers could come out and get you if you turned your back on them. So I would creep down the aisle trying not to turn my back on the videos. I was a weird kid, okay? I was an only child and you have to make up a lot of things to do. I also watched a lot of movies... I always have.

Anyway, I watch all kinds of horror movies. I especially love the really cheesy, gory ones. This weekend, while Taylor was working, I watched a lot of horror movies including Hostel and Hostel, part 2. I am kind of strangely fascinated with the Hostel movies. I don't really find them scary, just more amusing and creepy. For those who don't know the plot points, Hostel is about tourists who go to a certain hostel in Slovakia and then are kidnapped and sold at auction so that rich people can murder them. Both the Hostel movies focus on Americans, who go for the highest price. They are amusing movies to me because the kids are so dumb and stay in this creepy town where the children rob you and everyone is just a little too friendly. Oh, and all your friends keep disappearing without a trace. I would be out, see ya, adios... but that's just me. The creepy part comes from knowing that something like that could go on. I could easily see the bored, rich people with nothing better to do seeking out this kind of entertainment. Not that rich people cannot be perfectly nice and not murderers.

Anyway, I am getting off subject... In watching the Hostel movies, it caused me to add to my list of ways to avoid getting killed by murderers, serial killers, vampires, werewolves, zombies and general psychos. This is just the little list that I keep in my head so that I am never one of those girls who is breaking her ankle while running away from the monster. So, here you go, I am sure that you will all want to keep this list somewhere handy.

1. Never go vacationing anywhere that has no phones available. I wouldn't camp or hike anywhere where I cannot get cell service. There might be inbreds about. (Lesson from Wrong Turn and Deliverance)

2. If being attacked by zombies, always destroy the head. You can shoot them for five minutes straight through the heart and it won't do a lick of good. If all else fails, decapitate! (Lesson from Dawn of the Dead, Shaun of the Dead, Resident Evil, and basically any zombie movie ever!)

3. If the town, hotel, gas station, etc...looks like it is out of a Hitchcock film, don't stop there and certainly don't be rude to the people there. (Lesson from Texas Chainsaw Massacre, House of 1000 Corpses, and Psycho)

4. When in Europe, do not stay in hostels in Eastern Europe. And if you do and your friends start to disappear, LEAVE ASAP! (Lesson from Hostel, Hostel, part 2)

5. Don't babysit. Well, at least not if you are a cute teenage girl and there is a serial killer on the loose. (Halloween and When a Stranger Calls)

6. If you meet people who have pointy teeth, suck blood, have no reflection and avoid sunlight...they are vampires. Get the holy water, crosses, garlic and wooden stakes. (Dracula, From Dusk til Dawn, Blade, 30 Days of Night, Underworld, any vampire movie...Hello!)

7. Never play a game that requires you to repeat a name into a mirror in the dark so someone can come kill you. So, no Candyman or Bloody Mary. Your friends might think you are a wimp, but at least you won't get slaughtered. (Candyman and Dead Mary)

8. Don't be mean to people who might be potentially serial killers or have telekinesis. In fact, be extra nice to them and if it seems like they are going postal, be somewhere else. (Carrie, Valentine, Willard, Firestarter, Tamara)

9. If your house seems haunted and people start dying... please move. Especially if people get sucked into TVs or become ghosts. That's just common sense. Oh, and don't go to haunted houses to see if they are haunted... they are. (Poltergeist, House on Haunted Hill, Rose Red, The Grudge, Amityville Horror, 1408, The Haunting...)

10. If you are a woman, don't wait for a man to save you when faced with a killer or monster. Grab that machete or gun or butcher knife and take care of it yourself. Besides, your boyfriend/husband/guy friend is probably dead anyway. Duh! And don't wear high heels and then look back as you run away, you're gonna fall, loser! (Be like the main girls in Planet Terror, Death Proof, Resident Evil, Scream and Hostel, part 2)

Hope you have enjoyed my survival guide. There are more things on my list, but these hit the main points. Basically, it's all about using common sense and if something feels stupid, maybe that's not the best choice. Good luck and don't come looking for me when the zombies take over, I will be busy!



By the way, this is Alice. She was in Resident Evil and she is my model of the way to be in a crisis. Plus, she looks cute while she is kicking butt!

You'll Be in My Heart...

Today, Taylor and I have been married for two years! I can't believe that time has gone by so quickly. It seems like just yesterday that I was balling my eyes out at our wedding and then hopping into a truck with Taylor and we were off to Minnesota. Taylor is truly the love of my life! I have loved him since I was 17 years old and still when I look at him, I feel so much love for him. He is a great husband. He makes me laugh all the time, he is so considerate at times, he puts up with my nagging and crazy spells, he takes great care of our pets, he is a wonderful cook and he even helps me clean (if I beg). The thing I love most about our marriage is that we are just such good friends, on top of being husband and wife. I would rather spend time with him than anyone else in this world. I miss him when he works on weekends and when he occasionally goes out of town without me. Okay, I'm done being sappy now, just had to get that out.

Also, my title of the blog entry is special because Taylor gave me a musical card for my birthday that played "You'll be in my Heart" and it was actually an anniversary card, but he didn't notice until he got it home. It was cute!

Up on My Soapbox Again

Sometimes I just have to get up on my Women's health soapbox. As an OB/Gyn RN, I am constantly looking for new educational tools and products to help keep our patients better informed of the issues they may encounter. Today, our BRCA representative came by the office and gave me some information on a newer non-profit organization that specifically caters to women in their 20-30s.

For those of you who do not know, BRCA is a genetic screening for the breast cancer gene. We all have a BRCA 1 and BRCA 2 gene in our bodies to specifically help our ovarian and breast cells from developing malignant cells. We all receive two sets of these genes from our parents, so even if one doesn't work, we have back up genes. However, some individuals are born with mutations to these genes, which puts them at higher risk than the average person of developing breast or ovarian cancer. The BRCA test looks at your DNA to determine if you have the above mentioned gene mutation. We determine a patient's risk of having a BRCA 1 or BRCA 2 gene mutation by family and personal history. If you have incidence of breast or ovarian cancer in your family or if you personally have a history of breast or ovarian cancer, the BRCA test might be suggested by your doctor. If you test positive for the BRCA 1 or BRCA 2 gene mutation, it can increase your risk of breast cancer up to 87% or of ovarian cancer up to 54%. Considering that the average female has a 7-12% risk of breast cancer and a 1-2% risk of ovarian cancer, these can be very staggering figures. Armed with your results, you can choose to either start mammograms and other screening tests early or choose to have an elective mastectomy and oopherectomy (removal of the ovaries). The thought behind this test is that it allows women to be more proactive in screening for breast cancer or in choosing to have the potentially problematic organs removed. My office has started doing this testing in the past few months and our patients really like it. If you have a family history where all the women have had breast cancer, it might be beneficial to know your chances up front.

Anyway, I digress. The organization that I learned about today was called Bright Pink. They are a non-profit organization that was started by a 20-something women and it focuses on addressing the breast and ovarian cancer issues that young women face. Since our chances of developing breast or ovarian cancer are smaller at this age, some women feel like they do not need testing. Bright Pink encourages women who qualify to have the BRCA test to have it done and encourages all women to have do monthly self-breast exams, have yearly pap and breast exams, start mammograms at 40, and live a healthy lifestyle. They have hip, fun events and even their brochure is super cute. I would recommend all my blogging friends to visit their website and take a look around. They have some good information and it is worth taking a peek at.

The website is http://www.bebrightpink.org/

Also, here is a poem written by a patient who tested positive for the BRCA gene. She was not my patient personally, but I thought it was encouraging.

Today was like finding a lump in my breast
I received the news from my genetic test
My doctor said; "I'm sorry" but you have the gene
The blood test confirmed what hadn't been seen
I know I'll do whatever it takes...to prevent the inevitable
There is too much at stake
So many I've lost, if only they'd known
They should have been able to see their children grown
Cancer now has become a fact
A number the next generation will track
But I'm blessed for this gift I've been given this year
It will make such a difference to those I hold dear
In life I know there is not a guarantee
But, with this knowledge
I now feel free.

-Anonymous-

I Think My Heart Just Stopped

I don't how many of you were watching last night, but the Fiesta Bowl was ridiculous! UT was up against Ohio State, which should have been no challenge after some of the teams we played this year. The first half was super slow and boring with only 1 field goal for UT and 2 field goals for OSU. After the half, UT came out a little more revved up and were able to score two touchdowns in the 3rd quarter, using most of the clock up. Then OSU scored another field goal and a touchdown, but they went for their first two point conversion of the season and didn't get it. So the score was at 15 OSU - 17 UT. Then, with two minutes left in the 4th, OSU scores a freakin' touchdown. Luckily, they tried the 2 point conversion again and missed. However, the damage was done and UT had to score a touchdown to win.

By this time, you can imagine that my house was a screaming, anxious mass. We had 5 people over to watch the game and it was very loud in my living room. My brother in law, Hayden was pacing continually around the kitchen and living room, grabbing tortilla chips whenever UT had a bad play. With 16 seconds left, Quan Cosby, a senior, dove into the end zone for a touchdown!!! We all jumped up and cheered. Then we sat on our hands for the next 16 seconds waiting for OSU not to score again. Please no repeat of the Texas Tech game. But we won!

It was such a nail biter that my heart was racing for the last 7 minutes of the game. I could barely sleep last night because I was so hyped up. Granted this was not UT's best game and it should not have been nearly this close. Ohio State is a good team most years, but not really this season. It was a great game and I was so glad that Quan Cosby got to end his college football career by saving the Fiesta Bowl for UT! In case you didn't watch the game last night, let me leave you with a pic of the game winning touchdown and the UT team celebrating. GO HORNS!!

My Return to Blogging

I feel as though, in the past few months, that I have fallen behind in my blogging. Either due to lack of time or lack of ideas for things to blog about. But, no more. This year I am going to blog about happenings in my life and things I read, watch and do. Last year, I felt like some things that happened were not "blog worthy", but then I was disappointed with the ideas I did come up with.

My goal for this year is to love myself more. I tend to be my own worst critic. I scrutinize my looks, my actions, and my personality all the time. This year I want to focus on the things I do like about myself and on those that I love. I am going to re-focus my efforts to be a more healthy person, whatever weight that may be. I will also focus on trying new things and being thankful for all the people in my life who love me. Last year, I spent a lot of time being sad about not having a good girlfriend close by to do things with. But I have plenty of guy friends, a wonderful mother and mother-in-law, several blog friends, two great sisters-in-law, and a couple of friends that I would love to see more often, but whom I am thankful to spend even the occasional event with.

So, in following with my new goal this year to just write what I feel rather than what is "blog-worthy", I will give everyone an update on the end of last year and the events that took place in my life.

In November, Taylor and I made the decision to move in with my in-laws this coming summer. We are having a hard time saving any money, because our rent is expensive and we live paycheck to paycheck. Plus, my in-laws could use an extra hand or two around the house. With my father-in-law's Parkinson's on a steady decline, it would be helpful to have a nurse in the house and also a big strong man who can move Spencer and lift him when he falls. Taylor and Blake are turning the Reids' garage into a room and separate laundry room and then Taylor and I will move in. Also, this month, we lost my mom's father. On Thanksgiving, Popo pasted from this world and into a much better one. He had suffered with Alzheimer's for many years and then a week before Thanksgiving came down with what they think was Aspiration Pneumonia. He was made comfortable in his living facility and passed peacefully. My grandfather was a wonderful man. He was a father, a husband, a soldier, a police officer, a missionary, an elder and a grandfather. I will miss him, but I am truly happy that he is now in a place where he doesn't forget those that he loves and where Alzheimer's cannot reach him.

December was a better month for us. We did the usual Christmas fun with family, and Taylor and I, through the generous gifts from friends and family, were able to buy a new TV and a new bed. We have slept in separate rooms most nights of our two year marriage because we only had a queen sized bed. Some of you may think that sounds like plenty of space, but when you are sleeping with a 6 ft 7 in, 350 lb man in a bed with a giant dent in the center from years of him sleeping alone, it is not enough room. We will be getting our California King in this week. On New Years Eve day, I was lucky enough to get a lunch date with my good friend Kathrine. We have known each other for years and we don't get together as much as we would like. We had lunch at a great little tea shop and then did some window shopping. She is one of those friends that you can just pick up with even if you haven't really seen each other in months. For New Years eve, we went out to eat Hibachi (I love Japanese food!) with a couple of friends and then over to a friends house to hang out. It was a very laid back New Years and we enjoyed that. Taylor and Blake were also off of work the weeks of Christmas and New Years and began work on Taylor's parents garage. They are almost done clearing it out and will hopefully begin work on the actual construction this week.

So far, in January, we have already had a little drama. My dear kitty, Moe, whom I have had for five years has developed a disease called Feline Lower Urinary Tract Disease. Apparently, it is the umbrella term for most urinary problems that cats have. We had to take him into the emergency clinic on Friday night at 11 pm because I was worried that he had bladder stones. He was going to the bathroom in odd places, there were crystals in his urine as well as blood. He also seemed to be in pain while using the bathroom. It was kind of stressful weekend due to his discomfort and I was terrified that he would have a urinary obstruction, which is a life-threatening problem. It may seem silly to worry so much over a cat, but he has been my companion since I started nursing school. He is a sweet dear cat and I would be devastating if he died due to a condition I can prevent. We are off to see the vet this afternoon for follow-up on treatment for him. He is thankfully feeling much better.

Well, now you are all updated on my life at this point. We have had some hard times the last few months, but hopefully this year will bring some happier days!